the dutch files

children make life so…interesting! read on.

mama's got moxie

on failing challenges and passion

so how do you muck up a blogging challenge that calls for you to blog every day for a month? you don’t blog every day for a month. instead you post every 3 to 5 days because you’re a rebel who doesn’t like rules.

actually that last part isn’t totally true. i just got caught up and didn’t post. but hey, onward and forward with today’s post: dutch and wrestling and mama being bugged about wrestling by dutch night and day and day and night.

mama's got moxie

my dear loving child discovered the wwe several months ago and it’s been all about wrestling ever since. he has wrestling video games, watches matches on cable and pulls up old wwe/wwf matches up on youtube via his ipad.

he’s serious.

my child is very interactive with his newfound love too. he not only watches continuous streams of wrestling video, he mimics the moves on a large stuffed bunny that used to be mine. he jumps off the couch (all while i’m screaming in the background for him not to jump off the couch) and does all of the finisher moves he’s seen done by his favorite wrestlers. he has even written out his “special moves” that he has asked me to forward to the wwe. the “neck breaker” moves terrifies me, by the way.

mama's got moxie

as crazy as all his wrestling talk drives me at times (he has asked me several times a day for the past few weeks to sign him up for wrestling in our neighborhood) there is something to be said about his passion for this sport. if you wanna call what the wwe does a sport. to me, it’s more like an entertainment show, but whatever.

his passion is thick. he eats, sleeps, dreams, walks, talks wrestling. i get it though. i’ve been passionate about many, many things in my life. passionate about my family, passionate about my work, passionate about my creativity and artsy-craftiness. so all i can really do is smile through all his wrestling talk and be happy that at this young age he’s found something that he truly adores.

 

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mama's got moxie

he wants me to procreate

it’s august?! already?? geesh, the time is whizzing on by. new month = new thangs. first thang up, to get my butt back on track with this blog. i follow awesomely luvvie on instagram and she issued a challenge to bloggy types to post every day for the month of august. perfect! i likes a challenge. so here goes.

dutch has always come up with suggestions for me: “mom, you should cut your hair,” “mom, you should buy hot buns,” “mom, you need to exercise,” “mom, you should get a job at my school library,” “look mom, the gas station is hiring, don’t you need a job?”

his life coaching lessons are endless, but his latest suggestion just took the whole entire cake of cakes.

mama's got moxie

just the other day we were riding home from a little trip to baskin robbins because i needed a scoop of jamoca almond fudge to brighten my day and here’s how our conversation went…

dutch: mom, do you know what procreate means?

mama: (cringing more than a little bit…) yes.

oh…here we go. the “where do babies come from” talk. i was panicking on the inside because i’m just not ready for the procreation convo with my almost 8-year-old child, especially when my husband isn’t present.

dutch: good. can you please go procreate because i really want to have a little brother or sister.

good?!? did this child just say “good”?? like we’re on the same page of understanding? as if he already knows and is just checking to make sure i know? and who on earth says, “go procreate??” who is this child? where did he come from? like, really, where they do that at? oh, but he’s not done yet.

dutch: there was a woman in the Bible who prayed about procreating and she had a baby so can you do that?

wait. what? he wants me to pray on it?

mama: huh? who told you that?

dutch: i learned it in sunday school.

i pulled the car into a parking space and we got out to head into our home. i was walking ahead of dutch, but he stopped for a sec on the sidewalk and said…

“mom, you deserve to procreate.”

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my child

would my son be my hero?

dutch is 7. at 7 you don’t have very many responsibilities. you clean up after yourself. keep your room clean. do well in school. behave. you know, it just doesn’t get very deep at 7. you basically go to school and look forward to the weekend so you can chill out, watch cartoons, play around. life is easy breezy.

in dutch’s case, the weekend includes video game time. he lives for his video game time and he has quite a collection of games. naturally, there are some games (his dad’s) that are a definite no-no. that includes anything rated “m” for mature. he’s not even allowed to be in the same room when his dad plays these games.

we’re serious.

my child

so last weekend we were hanging around the house. i was watching tv, dutch was playing his games, and i hadn’t fixed anything for lunch just yet so i decided to just order chinese. by the time the food came i was out of my mind hungry and couldn’t wait to dig in. i said to dutch, “i’m going to pass out in here if i don’t eat soon!” which got me to thinking, would my child know what to do if i ever had a medical emergency and really passed out?

so i asked, “dutch, what would you do if i passed out?”

dutch: play call of duty: black ops.

mama: what?!

dutch: and then i’d call an ambulance.

so much for a hero.

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basketball booyah

basketball is his favorite sport…for now

i used to joke with my husband when i was pregnant and say, “watch, i’m going to be that mama involved in everything!!! i’ll be the pta mom, the soccer mom…” i just rolled off a million things that seemed simple to do to a mom who hadn’t yet given birth.

well, i’m not a pta mom. and so far, i haven’t been a soccer mom either. not for a team anyway. we enrolled dutch in a soccer basics activity when he was three, but he was kinda young quite to get the gist of it. first of all, i signed his up for british soccer complete with british coaches. dutch could barely understand them.

we tried tennis too and tee ball, but he really has a passion for football and basketball. he played basketball last spring and we’re seeing lots of improvement in his game already. my husband and i weren’t too sure if he’d want to play again after the last season because soon after his last season he announced, “i’m never playing basketball again. i retired!!!”

but oh…after football season ended, he was ready to play again.

basketball booyahhis team lost their first game of the season by quite a few points, but the next game they came back stronger and it was pretty intense. who knew basketball with a bunch of seven-year-olds could be intense?!!

the game went into overtime and then one of dutch’s teammates scored two points and after that dutch came with another two points to seal the win. there’s nothing like watching your child doing something that he loves, and doing it well to boot!

quite exciting indeed.

 

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metacognition

he thinks he knows so much

monday morning was yet another day of debates…about clothes. it always trips me out that such a young kid has so many opinions about what to wear to school. we finally got the outfit down, but then it was time to grab a jacket. dutch goes into his closet and grabs a long-sleeved, hooded t-shirt with a pocket in the front. here’s how our conversation unfolded:

mama: dutch, that is not a jacket. it’s a shirt.

dutch: it’s not a shirt, it’s a jacket.

mama: dutch, it’s not a jacket, it’s a t-shirt. see, come feel the weight of this verses your real jacket.

dutch: [touches the shirt again and still isn't convinced.] mom, it’s a jacket.

and the conversation seriously went on and on like this, even after he grabbed a real jacket and we headed out to the car. we literally went back and forth like this 10,000 times. it’s a jacket! it’s a shirt!!

my mama thinks i’m crazy for debating such trivial things with a 7-year-old, but it just drives me nuts that this kid thinks he knows more than me. so i told him…

mama: you know, it drives me nuts that you think you know more than me. i mean, really, you think you know everything! drives. me. nuts.

[mama turns the radio up 'cause she wants to think of something else besides long-sleeved, t-shirts and jackets, and know-it-all little 7-year-old boys.]

[dutch pauses in thought.]

dutch: i know what metacognition means and you don’t.

metacognition

[mama, turns down the radio 'cause she didn't quite hear the entire word dutch said, but she assumes she knows and says...]

mama: the word is recognition.

dutch: no, it’s metacognition.

[mama thinks, meta-what?!?!]

mama: well, what does metacognition mean, dutch? [you know, since you're so freakin' smart, little kid!!]

dutch: it means, thinking about thinking.

mama: well, i’m thinking about thinking about bopping you upside yo’ head, how about that? ['cause dangit, mama couldn't think of nothin' else to say!]

i should’ve told him that since he’s so smart to use metacognition in a sentence, or better yet, spell it. and i probably would’ve said both those things if i wasn’t thinking so hard about googling this “metacognition” word.

and i did.

and he was right.

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yep, that would be dutch and my husband facing me.

never been a football fan ’til now

football. i’ve never been a fan of the sport. never paid any attention to any particular team, never cared who made it to the playoffs. at high school football games i chatted up my girlfriends the entire time and barely glanced over at the field. when i got older and hung out at sports bars with friends it was mainly just to socialize. for me, anyway.

i wouldn’t know a cornerback from the quarterback. a tight end from a wide receiver. as a matter of fact, i just found out recently how many points a team gets for a touchdown.

superbowl? child, please… surely, there’s something else on besides these grown men in tight pants barreling each other down and chasing a ball up and down a field.

but now that dutch is playing, everything has changed. i’m HYPE!! you hear me?? i’m all into some football.

i’m sure i’ve driven my husband nuts with all my crazy football questions like, “wait, did the coach just say they can grab ankles in a tackle?? that’s allowed??!!”

dutch and my husband looking over in my direction.

dutch played his first game last weekend and there i was yelling at the top of my lungs up and down the sidelines, as if i really knew what the heck i was talking about.

well, yelling and half listening to other parents comment on the game so maybe i could learn a thing or two.

all i know for sure is if the other team has the ball, we need to tackle whoever is running with it to stop him. and if we have the ball we need to be getting to the goal line.

it is called a goal line, right?

clearly, the correct wording doesn’t matter to a mama cheering for her son and his team. shoot, i still don’t know offense from defense. didn’t realize until someone informed me that when i kept yelling to that child last saturday to keep running the ball that he actually couldn’t because he had gotten a flag for some reason unbeknownst me.

all i know is that when the coach has the kids in a huddle and he’s yelling, “how y’all feel?” and the kids shout back, “FIRED UP!!” i’m feeling pretty fired up too. excited about this sport that i never would’ve imagined in a million years that i’d be amped about.

no, i really don’t know what the heck is going on, but what i do know is dutch’s first game was the best game i’ve ever seen. and i can’t wait until the next one.

boom!!

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pants

dirty

football practice pants. they get pretty daggone filthy with all that mud, dirt and grass stained all over them. i’m sure they’re funky too. i wouldn’t know because when i’m carrying them to the washing machine i tend to keep them an arm’s distance away from my nose.

one day recently before practice, i handed dutch his bright and sparkly white football pants (thanks to my handy dandy stain stick) and he said to me, “mom, you washed them??” ummmm, yeah. then he added, “they’re supposed to be dirty.”

hmmm…i guess that’s item #174 on my list of things i don’t know about football. the pants are supposed to be dirty. check!

 

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earth_wind_fire

earth, wind & fire :: september

dutch just discovered earth, wind & fire a few months ago and there for a minute he was requesting to hear them every day. one of his absolute favorites is “september”! one day recently after summer camp he told me a teacher caught him singing an ewf song and shocked that my kid was a little bit of an old school head, he asked, “dutch, are you singing earth, wind & fire??” haha!

i love it.

this one is for you, dutchie!

ba de ya, say do you remember/ba de ya, dancing in september/ba de ya, never was a cloudy day…

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mama

happy 7th birthday, dutchie!

i was a writer before this blog. i know, i know…you can barely tell from all of my typos, grammatical errors, run-on sentences and my obsession with ellipsis. but anyway, after leaving my editorial gig several years ago i was struggling to find my creative self. i mean, majorly struggling! i was a new wife, a new mama, not writing professionally anymore. it was like a tornado had come in and swept through my life and switched things up. only it was a sweet tornado, you know, like a funnel of skittles and cotton candy and strawberry sauce. but still, nothing looked the same anymore.

then i discovered blogging and what do you know, my dutchie had given me a reason to write again. i never intended to be a “mom blogger,” and still don’t describe myself that way. i’ve always just been a writer whose beat, if you will, happened to be her own child. and, of course, any other thing that strikes my fancy.

and why not write about dutch? this boy is crazy funny and witty and super smart and curious and picky beyond belief. he’s honest (too honest, almost – he got that from his dad) and stubborn (all me right there!) and so daggone determined. he’s his own person with his own definitive tastes and likes and dislikes and cannot be swayed. he’s much like his brother in that way and i love that about the both of them.

dutch can be so caring and ultra loving and sweeter than cherry pie in one minute and then drive me completely insane with his strong-willed spirit of steel in the next. this child is the exact opposite of what i imagined he’d be (and i’m sure my husband will agree! haha…), yet his personality has been the most beautiful surprise ever.

i wouldn’t dare try to pin down what i think he’ll be when he grows up, but i’m sure whatever it is he’s gonna be great at it.

happy 7th birthday, dutchie!! i’m sure you’ve got plenty more ways up your sleeve to surprise us.

 

 

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dutchie

my labor day gift

labor day will always hold a special little spot in my heart since my dutchie was born on that day. i’d never tell him that i secretly celebrate his birthday twice a year (his actual birthday is september 5th) because then he’d expect two gifts, two parties, two cakes…you get where i’m going with this, right?

so today i’ll just sit back quietly and think on the day my sweet baby boy was born. *whispering* happy birthday, dutchie!! :)

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