Archive for ‘the dutch files’

January 12th, 2011

dutchisms

>i’m sure we’ve all had moments when we’ve thought our moms are just plain ol’ mean. and silly me to think that i had somehow dodged the dreadful “mean” title. after all, for the last 5 years i’ve been the good mommy, but lately, not so much.

last i was cooking and dutch wanted to help. he helped pour the orange marmalade and then he poured some water in a pot, but then i ran out of things for him to pour! when i told him i’d take it from there he got upset and told me i was mean.

dutch: you’re such a mean mommy! you think you’re a beautiful girl, but you’re really just a mean girl!

funny how he somehow equated mean with not so beautiful. i hope he remembers that when he starts dating.

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dutch visits the library once a week at school and he usually picks the same types of books. either they’re about the military or football or pirates. he recently brought home a book about the marines and after we finished reading it I asked a few questions about the book.

mama: so where do the marines live, dutch?

dutch: at a place that has schools, and stores, and big buildings.


mama: okay, but what is it called? (mind you, the answer is a military base.)


dutch: georgetown?

January 8th, 2011

he’s so serious

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January 5th, 2011

picasso ain’t got nothin’ on my dutchie

>there’s nothing quite like kindergarten artwork!

January 3rd, 2011

the vacationless vacation

>i had an entire week off (yayyyyyyyy!!) with my 5-year-old (enter sighs and plenty pity here).

don’t get me wrong. i love love love spending time with the little one, but an entire week with an energetic half-decade old little boy means there was little rest to be had. and i needed rest. a lot. still do.

all throughout the week there were the endless questions and requests from dutch:

“mommy, can i have a popsicle?!” (at 9am, every morning.)

“mommy, can i play another video game?” (after playing 5 others for about 2 minutes.)

“mommy, can we go to the pool? the sun is out so i think it’s hot outside.” (in december. in the dc area.)

bang bang banging on the door while i was in the bathroom.

me: dutch, i’ve told you about banging on the door while i’m in the bathroom.

dutch: i’m not banging, i’m knocking because i have a question.

me: (sighing. again. for the zillionith time because some things just aren’t worth arguing.) what’s your question, dutch?

dutch: how old is God?

me: He’s an infinite age, dutch.

dutch: oh, i just wondering since His birthday was the other day.

yep. this is the kind of stuff i get from my kid all the time. it’s good. i’m glad he’s a thinker and all that. but geez louise, sometimes it’s plain ol’ exhausting. that’s why it’s good to break up all that thinkin’ with some kind of brainless activity. like going to the air & space museum. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, right?

well, he hated it.

dutch started complaining as soon as we stepped in the building. then after walking around for about 2 minutes he said, “mom, i thought you said you were taking me to the most fun place ever?? (’cause yes, i have to admit that this is how i described the place.) this place isn’t fun! where are the video games?!”

i’m like, video games?? boy, don’t you see that space shuttle over there??

he wasn’t impressed.  actually, i wasn’t either. it didn’t seem as fun as it was when i was a kid, but it was his first time. he was supposed to be excited!! but he wasn’t. deflated my lil’ balloon, but whatever.

see, what he really wanted to do that day was go to the mall. to play in a play area that his daycare provider used to take him to. oh, and to ride a “roller coaster.” i told him i’d take him the next day.

i had no idea what roller coaster he was talking about. i mean, really? a roller coaster? in the mall? but after pointing out exactly what entrance we should park near, and pointing to the exact door we should walk through, he walked right down the hall to this…

this simulated roller coaster video game that cost me 4 quarters and lasted for about 1.25 minutes. if that. apparently, this is waaaaaay more exciting than some ol’ lame air & space museum.

we then made our way over to the play area where kids were running around shoeless and fancy free. squealing and screaming as i’m sure no parents allow in their homes. this area, dead center of the mall, was an absolute wonderland to these children. they chased each other around, jumped up on fake wooden logs, tripped and fell on the padded floor and had a grand ol’ time.

when we were walking out of the mall dutch said, “that was soooooo awesome!!”

yeah, the mall play area.

January 2nd, 2011

g’town & ben’s shots

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December 27th, 2010

tools of his creative trade

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December 23rd, 2010

santa? child please…

>we don’t do santa. never have. dutch is 5 and we’ve always told him that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. yes, we celebrate by decorating a Christmas tree and yes, we exchange gifts, but we’ve always told him that we buy his gifts.

but now he’s convinced otherwise. it seems one of his classmates has convinced him that there is indeed a santa claus. that santa will visit and leave toys, blah, blah, blah…

“he’s going to come down our chimney!”

i said, “ummmm, no, actually, he’s not. in fact, dutch, look at our fireplace, does it look like a man could fit in there?”

he looked at me and thought for a second and said, “santa could.”

my husband even jumped in and said, “buddy, we buy your gifts. there’s no such thing as santa.”

dutch still decided to believe his 5-year-old classmate over us. he said, “dad, there IS a santa…”

then my husband said, “look, i’m 32…”

that’s when i cut in and said, “uhhhhh, honey, actually, you’re not.”

my husband stood there and thought about it and dutch said, “yeah, dad, you’re 33.”

so i guess if dad doesn’t even know how old he is, he really must not know about santa.

November 26th, 2010

dutch puttin’ his arch nemesis on blast (well, sorta)…in a rap

>there’s a kid that goes to school with my son dutch and he’s been terrorizing some of the kids in dutch’s aftercare program. this kid is either in the 5th or 6th grade, and dutch is 5 years old and in kindergarten. but don’t worry…we’ve told dutch how to handle him. ;)

anyway, i asked dutch recently how school was going, and here’s his response:

there’s a video issue… trying to work it out. sorry!

November 26th, 2010

big brother, little brother

>sometimes little brothers just need a little help from the big brothers…

and sometimes they’re just the butt of the joke. 
November 23rd, 2010

his big, loud numbers

>i luv it…even the backwards ones.

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