here i stand: the worst mama on the planet

*sigh*

life is way beyond stressful right now. there’s constant job hunting and general frustration over that, my dear husband has (understandably) added home searching into the mix, opportunities have come up that need to be weighed…heavily. i have a million ideas of what i could be doing, but i’m in such a frazzled state that i can think of two million reasons why they won’t work.

bills keep coming in as sure as the sun rises, ankle biter football has become more of a stress point in my life than i would’ve ever imagined. who knew? maybe i’ll post on that later. and of course the regular ol’ day-to-day stuff that keeps my mind spinning.

constantly.

so last thursday i treated the day like any other school day. got dutch up and ironed his clothes, made his lunch. walked the dog. dropped dutch off at school. you know, the regular routine stuff. it was only when i picked him up that i noticed the big, flashing notice on that electronic sign that sits in front of the school building that said:

DON’T FORGET, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2012 IS PICTURE DAY!

wait. i thought to myself. is today wednesday or thursday? surely i did NOT forget freakin’ picture day!

i mean, really? who does that?

me obviously.

not only did i forget to make sure that my child looked extra snazzy that day for his second grade picture, but daggone it, the picture order form was right there on my dining table. blank. no enclosed check or nothing.

things like this usually get dutch all upset and bothered. he’s usually all, “mooooom!! you forgot?! how did you forget??” i mean, it’s not often that i forget the important stuff, but when i do (like the time i left his lunch on the counter and sent him off to school without it and he ended up having a bag of popcorn for lunch. *sigh*) he’s pretty good at giving me all kinds of guilt trips. and i take it ’cause he’s right.

so i walked over to him on the playground all worried that he’d be disappointed and started apologizing immediately. do they even let kids take a picture if they’re not paying for them? will his picture even be in the yearbook that dutch so looks forward to getting every year? i wasn’t sure. but dutch said that he did at least take the picture. whew! it wasn’t like he had to sit in the classroom alone while all of his classmates lined up with their shiny picture-taking outfits, waving good-bye to him like he was the broke kid whose parents couldn’t at least afford the $20 picture packet.

thank goodness.

and it’s not like picture day is a one shot deal either. even if they don’t have a make-up day, they do have personality picture day closer to the end of the school year so all is not lost.

but still.

how did i let this slip by? dutch, surprisingly, didn’t make much of a fuss about it although i’m sure he will once the pictures come in and he doesn’t have any. and i’m sure this sounds like not such a big deal to a lot of folks, but i typically pride myself on being on top of these sorta things.

it’s not that we NEED another picture. in fact, dutch just had football pictures taken recently and i’m constantly snappin’ new pics of dutch. it’s just the principle of it all. like, how in the world could i have forgotten about picture day? my mother would’ve never.

i think parents often feel pangs of guilt over stuff they shoulda woulda coulda done and this was definitely one of those moments for me. i know if i wasn’t feeling so stressed all the daggone time i would’ve remembered. forgetting picture day was a huge reminder that i need to slow down a bit. pay closer attention to things that matter. shut out some of the clutter and buzz-y crap that’s swimming around in my mind.

do better.

3 thoughts on “here i stand: the worst mama on the planet”

  1. It’s okay iu are still a great momma 🙂 I forget stuff all the time. I think I am so organized and and on top of stuff then my daughter misses praise dance practice (something she has every week) cause I forgot to pack her dance clothes.

    1. 🙂 how about after i wrote that post i realized that i forgot to pack dutch’s library books for him to return!! haha… i’m on a forgetful rolllllllllllll!!!

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