Tag Archives: 2-year-old

introducing: dutchie the 2-year-old photog

my 2.5 year old son dutch has seemed to have inherited my love of photography so i’d like to introduce to you

dutchie the photog

coming to a gallery near you really, really, really soon… check out the composition of the images. is that skill or what?? all photos were taken with a blackberry pearl because my young photographer only uses the best of the best equipment.

 

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i wanna mush him

you know, sometimes i just wanna mush my 2 and a half year old son dutchie all upside his forehead (and sometimes i do!!).

the other morning i was rushing (as usual) and just trying to get out of the house at least sorta on time. dutch grabbed his shoes so i told him he should try putting them on himself.

mama: dutch, go ahead and try to get one shoe on by yourself.

dutch: [struggles with his shoe and is nowhere even near having the thing on right. and he’s also showing early signs of heavy frustration.]

mama: go ahead, buddy, you can do it. just try!

dutch: [totally frustrated by now.] i can’t do it!!

mama: yes, you can, dutchie. just try.

dutch: i can’t do it!!!!!

mama: dutch, don’t say that you can’t. just try!

dutch: i said i can’t do it, little girl!!!!

round 2 of wanting to mush the child all upside his forehead…

another morning i told dutch it was time to get dressed so that we could make our way to eva’s (his daycare).

mama: come on, dutch. it’s time to get dressed so let’s move it! come on, chop, chop!!!

dutch: i don’t want to. i wanna watch go diego.

mama: well, you’ll have to watch it when you get home because it’s time to get dressed so that we can go to eva’s.

dutch: no, i don’t want to go to eva’s.

mama: okay, well, fine. i’m going to go to eva’s by myself. see you later!!

dutch: bye, mama!! [still sitting on the bed watching television.]

so at this point i figured, i’ll fix him. i’ll leave out the front door and once he realizes that i’m gone and he’s home alone he’ll freak out!! as if i even had time to play these kinds of games in the mornings, but i did. our door closes really loudly so i made sure that the slam was ultra loud so he would know that i indeed had left. so i stood outside of the door waiting to hear the rumbling thunder sound of his feet coming towards the door.

no dice.

so then i thought, well, maybe he’s just standing there quietly at the door, you know, trying to feel me out. so i opened the door and there was no sign of dutch. and why? well, because his little butt was still content watching go diego go on the bed.

i just know that he would’ve missed me though, you know, like 15 minutes later when it was time to refill his milk cup.

round 3 of wanting to mush the child all upside his forehead…

today. i was planning on taking the day off just because daggone it, i need a day off! you know, to think, to breathe, to nap as long as i want and to watch “maury povich” and “oprah”. but my plans sorta changed once i noticed that dutch was coughing and wheezing and just overall not sounding 100%. what can i say, it’s the season for wheezin’ so that means it’s also time for allergy pill poppin’ and albuterol breathing treatments.

oh, spring is definitely upon us.

so this morning daddy noticed that dutch wasn’t feeling all that great:

daddy: you tell ms. eva if you don’t feel well and she’ll call me and i’ll come and get you, okay?

dutch: okay.

daddy: you don’t feel good?

dutch: [dutch shakes his head no as if he really knows what “feeling good” means. i dunno, maybe he does know what it means, but i’m kinda going with he doesn’t.]

daddy: do you wanna go to ms. eva’s?

dutch: no, i don’t wanna go to ms. eva’s.

well, see this is the kicker. daddy leaves before us in the morning so he really doesn’t know that every morning dutch says he doesn’t want to go to ms. eva’s because he would prefer to stay home and watch his vast movie collection. i mean, sure dutch was coughing this morning (and still is), but it’s not sooooooooo bad that he couldn’t really go to daycare. especially since this isn’t a cold so it’s nothing contagious. and sure enough after daddy leaves dutch says this:

dutch: mommy, can we go to chuck e. cheese’s?? to eat pizza?? and to dance??

geez louise, the kid’s a faker already.

he’s a wee obsessed with chuck e. cheese’s

we went to pick up my stepson early this morning so that he could stay the weekend with us and on our way home dutch came up with the greatest idea for you know, a 2-year-old. i mean, think about it, if you were 2 how would you like to spend your saturday? oh yeah, baby, you guessed it:

dutch: i wan’ go chuck e. cheese!

okay.

now don’t go getting the idea that i give into my child’s every whim ’cause i don’t. he comes up with some monster ideas at times like asking me to cook him eggs at 3 a.m. in the morning, or asking to go see his lolo (aka grandfather) first thing in the morning when we’re rushing out for daycare. but this particular time, i gave in. hey, i felt i owed the kid. he’s been asking to go to cheesey chucky’s for the past few weeks. i meant to take him during all of those days we were off during the Christmas season, but we kinda never made it.

so today was a day of loud children, probably the grossest pizza on the planet, tickets from games that don’t get you much in the way of prizes (we won 53 tickets which got us 5 tootsie rolls, and i’m the only one who eats them), screams of terror when chuck e. decided to pounce on the scene, and a thousand rides on the fire truck for dutch.

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“hey, mama… i need more money for this thing!”

and yes, the realization that blackberry’s don’t take great motion pix.

dutch gives thanks

i got an early Christmas gift from my 2-year-old son dutch last night. we sat down to eat dinner and he bowed his head, held his little hands (okay, so they’re not really all that little) together and said:

“thank you for a food, amen.”

i wish you could’ve been there. it was truly the cutest daggone thing ever! so what if he got rice all over the table and floor and it stuck to his socks when he got up from the table 12 times during dinner. he’s thankful for “a food” and that’s all that counts.

oh, the neb…

mama and daddy get married.

daddy has asthma.

mama and daddy have baby.

while they won’t call it asthma yet, baby has little breathing issues.

enter the dreaded hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm… of the nebulizer.

i remember the first time i thought i heard my son wheezing. my husband was out-of-town on business and a girlfriend was visiting dutch for the first time. i wasn’t quite sure what wheezing sounded like because well, nobody in my family wheezes, and i had never heard my husband wheeze either. so i asked my girlfriend if dutch’s breathing sounded like wheezing to her. she said yep and the next day we were on our way to the doctor.

i remember dutch’s doctor bringing in the nebulizer and showing me how to use it. she poured in the albuterol, turned on the machine and placed a mask on my 7-month-old’s face. then she walked out of the room and i cried. then i looked down at dutch and he started smiling. apparently having vaporized steroids blown into your nose is pretty funny. at least my child thought so.

dutch doesn’t need neb treatments all of the time. in fact, it’s usually when the pollen is really bad, but the slightest cold has been known to kick off his wheezing too.

which brings me to the snot nosed kid at his daycare. i went to pick dutch up from daycare last thursday and one of the provider’s other children she keeps during the day toddled over to me with the biggest, prettiest smile on his face. he also had a huge, green glob of snot hanging from his nose. oh, i knew it was about to be on.

first came the cough, then the snotty nose, then the wheezing. and more wheezing and a lot more coughing. and then…

hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

if you’ve kept up with reports, then you know you’re not supposed to just give your kid under 6 cold medicine all willy nilly anymore. you really need to talk to your doctor first, but in dutch’s case cold medicine doesn’t do the trick anyway. this isn’t your run-of-the-mill cold that gets dutch really sick, it’s a tightness in his lungs. and as much as i haven’t wanted to admit it, it’s asthma.

cough medicine does nothing for an asthmatic cough. in fact, if you read the warning on cough medicine it tells you that if your child has asthma, then cough medicine is not the way to go. except that it explains that in more medical type terms. i don’t have a box of the stuff in front me so i can’t accurately quote the cough medicine box.

yesterday dutch stayed home with my mother while mama and daddy tended to other important stuff (i’ll write about this later, honey. major drama!) and by the time we got home, my child was absolutely listless. he didn’t run to the door to greet us as he would usually do. he didn’t even look up at us to say hi. in fact, he didn’t say anything. at all. all night long.
whoa!!

to know my child is to know that he (just like his mother) will talk a hole into the side of your head. he has the gift of gab and loves to blab on about nothing just to have something to blab about (again, just like his mother). so to see him in this state freaked me out. so onto the doctor we rolled today.

Continue reading oh, the neb…

order in the tub

apparently we eat out far too much because my 2-year-old son is now playing waiter. or maybe i should just be happy that he has a great imagination. haven’t decided which yet.

anyway, i recently gave dutch a bath. anyone who has a toddler can probably relate to how bath time is usually more about keeping the floor dry from all of the splashing around and trying to keep the child still long enough to get some soap and a washcloth on his little body for a quick second than him actually “having a bath.” it should really be called taking a trip to the at-home waterpark instead of bathing. at least in my house anyway.

so dutch was doing his usual thing, you know, stomping around in the tub and drenching me with sudsy water, playing with his foam letters and sticking them onto the wall and drawing pictures (large circles and wiggly lines mostly) on the tiles with his bath crayons when he came up with a great idea. he grabbed the letter “A” and started to write on it. and then he said…

dutch: you wan’ fench fy? [you know, french fries…]

mama: sure, i’ll take some french fries.

dutch: [begins scribbling with his green crayon onto the letter “A”] you wan’ hot dog?

mama: uh huh, give me a hot dog too.

dutch: [more scribbling…] you wan’ apple?

mama: yes, i want three apples.

dutch: [looks confused because i said “three” but goes on to scribble anyway.] you wan’ banana?

mama: yes please, and can i have some ice cream?

dutch: oh, ice cream truck? [for some reason he thinks ice cream truck is ice cream. yeah, we’re working on that.]

mama: yes dutch, ice cream.

dutch: [more scribbling.] okay.

mama: and can i have a drink?

dutch: you wan’ drink, mama? [more scribbling.]

mama: yes. so you’re taking my order?

dutch: [about to scribble more but then he starts to look confused at the word “order” and says…] you wan’ water? okay. [starts to scribble my water order.]

just like a waiter to screw up my order.

funny things dutch says

conversing with my 2-year-old (26 months if you wanna be real anal about it) son dutch is so much fun these days. half of the time i don’t have a clue what he’s saying because he tends to make up words as fillers to describe what he’s talking about when he doesn’t know the real words. then other times it’s so clear and crisp and dead-on.

and can i just say that my child is the bossiest little 2-year-old dictator EVER? i don’t know where he gets this stuff from. he has the craziest facial expressions to go along with all of his bossiness too.

anyway, here’s mr. “boss of nothing” (as i like to call him):

mama to daddy: [daddy had said something really silly.] hahaha… shut up, you are so silly!!

dutch: mama, don’t say ‘shut-up, daddy.’

mama: you’re so right! i’m sorry, daddy, for saying shut up.

daddy: that’s right, man, you tell her!

dutch to daddy: [with the best crooked grin ever.] shut up, daddy.

mama: dutch, you just told me not to say shut up and now you’re saying it to daddy. tell daddy you’re sorry.

dutch to mama: shut up, mama.

***

mama: i’m happy, dutch, are you happy?

dutch: no, i don’t want it.

***

dutch: mama, come here!

mama: what, dutch?

dutch: don’t say ‘what, dutch?’ say ‘yes, dutch.’

lesson here: you know, when you teach a kid something it’s important that you also follow through on your own rules ’cause you know, it kinda sucks to be corrected by a 2-year-old.

***

Continue reading funny things dutch says

the mini human jukebox

my 2-year-old son dutch has GOT to be the bossiest little child i’ve ever encountered. so much so that i’ve nicknamed him “boss of nothing” (i mean, ’cause really, just who does he think he’s bossing around here??) but every now and then i give in a little to his whims.

dutch: mama, sing “oink oink here, oink oink there.”

mama: old mcdonald had a farm e-i-e-i-o. and on that farm he had a…

dutch: enough!! mama sing “abcd…”

mama: abcdefg hijklmnop…

dutch: enough!! mama sing “oink oink here…”

i’m so gucci

i was chasing dutch around this morning in my attempt to get us ready and out of the house at a decent time. it’s so not easy now that he’s an active 2-year-old. but i managed to get him still for oh probably about 32.7 seconds. just long enough to wipe him down with a soapy washcloth and then he somehow got free again.

he was running all around the house butty-naked when i was finally able to snatch him up and bring him to the bedroom to get him dressed.

dutch was giggling the whole time (because for some reason this whole running from mommy in the mornings thing is quite funny to him) and i said, “dutch, you are so goofy!!”

his response: “you gucci, mama!!”

ya just gotta love this kid…

oh, the joys of potty training!!

i bought dutch a potty some time ago. i knew he wasn’t ready but i guess some part of me was just hoping that my little genius which catch on quickly and be out of diapers in no time.

to my surprise the first time i sat him on the potty he made a pee-pee!! i sat him down and the tinkle music played on the potty and i was dancing. oh, i was so excited like “i knew it! i knew he’d catch on quickly!” i was just counting all the dollars i would save in diapers and was making plans to go to dsw to buy a new pair of shoes with his former diaper money and everything. but it turns out that it was just the luck of the wheel. it must’ve just happened to have been coming down the pipe at that very moment because it’s the first and last pee-pee he’s made on the potty.

a big mistake that i made was buying a potty that actually functions as a step-stool. i don’t know who came up with this idea, but my guess is that its intended use is for children to later be able to step up to the toilet or even to the sink so that they can brush their teeth or wash their hands. dutch uses it in the living room to try to feed his four goldfish. he also uses it in the kitchen to push buttons on the microwave.

oh, and that tinkle music i mentioned earlier. he figured out a way to get that to play without making a pee-pee. he takes the cup from the potty and pours water in it from the bathroom sink. where’s the motivation??

i’ve made the mistake of asking him if he needs to use the potty on numerous occasions. after he’s eaten or had a drink i’ll ask, “dutchie, wanna go potty?” “no!” of course he says no. he says no to everything. so i’ve tried sitting him on the potty and that lasts oh for about 0.5 seconds before he’s running off to the next thing.

it’s not all going totally awry. i believe we’re making small strides. he now, at least tells me sometimes when there’s an occurrence in his diaper. “mama, i poop!” but “poop” can mean so many things to my little man. either it’s pee-pee, poop or a poot. anything three, pick one.

sometimes it actually is poop like last saturday morning. “mama, i poop!” i changed his diaper and then 15 minutes later… “mama, i poop!” so i said, “dutchie, you pooped again?” “i pooped again.” now every time that he poops it’s “mama, i pooped again.” and again and again and again. it’s just one long poopy string that i’ve started by asking “again?” a never ending poop cycle.