Tag Archives: boys

he thinks he knows so much

monday morning was yet another day of debates…about clothes. it always trips me out that such a young kid has so many opinions about what to wear to school. we finally got the outfit down, but then it was time to grab a jacket. dutch goes into his closet and grabs a long-sleeved, hooded t-shirt with a pocket in the front. here’s how our conversation unfolded:

mama: dutch, that is not a jacket. it’s a shirt.

dutch: it’s not a shirt, it’s a jacket.

mama: dutch, it’s not a jacket, it’s a t-shirt. see, come feel the weight of this verses your real jacket.

dutch: [touches the shirt again and still isn’t convinced.] mom, it’s a jacket.

and the conversation seriously went on and on like this, even after he grabbed a real jacket and we headed out to the car. we literally went back and forth like this 10,000 times. it’s a jacket! it’s a shirt!!

my mama thinks i’m crazy for debating such trivial things with a 7-year-old, but it just drives me nuts that this kid thinks he knows more than me. so i told him…

mama: you know, it drives me nuts that you think you know more than me. i mean, really, you think you know everything! drives. me. nuts.

[mama turns the radio up ’cause she wants to think of something else besides long-sleeved, t-shirts and jackets, and know-it-all little 7-year-old boys.]

[dutch pauses in thought.]

dutch: i know what metacognition means and you don’t.

metacognition

[mama, turns down the radio ’cause she didn’t quite hear the entire word dutch said, but she assumes she knows and says…]

mama: the word is recognition.

dutch: no, it’s metacognition.

[mama thinks, meta-what?!?!]

mama: well, what does metacognition mean, dutch? [you know, since you’re so freakin’ smart, little kid!!]

dutch: it means, thinking about thinking.

mama: well, i’m thinking about thinking about bopping you upside yo’ head, how about that? [’cause dangit, mama couldn’t think of nothin’ else to say!]

i should’ve told him that since he’s so smart to use metacognition in a sentence, or better yet, spell it. and i probably would’ve said both those things if i wasn’t thinking so hard about googling this “metacognition” word.

and i did.

and he was right.

the snake that keeps growing & growing

dutch and i were in rite aid when he picked up a toy snake and asked if he could have it. at first i told him no, but when i realized it was 50% off and only two bucks i went on ahead and told him okay.

when we got in the car dutch said that we needed to put the thing in water. huh?? why does a toy snake need water?

i probably should’ve paid more attention to the packaging when dutch tossed it up on the counter so i could pay for it. you know, the part of the packaging RIGHT THERE ON THE FRONT with the kid holding a gigantic snake up and the part that said when you put the snake in water for five days it grows to over four feet long!

smh.

silly mama.

toy snake that grows

 

he’s so sporty

dutch is not quite seven years old yet, his birthday is next month, but he’s had an active little sports life so far.

first we had him take a swim lesson when he was about three. it was a mommy & me kinda class and every week we’d get in the pool and play games and try to execute the little lessons the instructor planned. but ultimately, dutch failed swim class. the teacher was all apologetic and whatnot, but geesh, can you really fail a three-year-old in swim class? well, i guess you can if the end result means your child could drown all because you thought he deserved a swim certificate when really he just flopped around in the pool during each class and barely wanted to put his face in the water.

so anyway, then we moved onto to tennis…and soccer. pretty much at the same time. don’t ask me why. child, i was just so eager to have dutch in something ’cause isn’t that what parents do these days? put their kids in stuff?

in tennis dutch wasn’t the most focused kid on the court and at one point the coach said, “you just want to do your own thing, do you think this is dutch.com?” which i’m sure totally confused my child since he didn’t know what the heck a .com was at the time.

then onto soccer where at least dutch got to get his forrest gump on and run like a nut, only a couple times he didn’t quite know when to stop. probably because it was british soccer and the coaches’ accents totally threw his little three-year-old brain for a loop. he hardly understood what they asking him to do half the time.

silly mommy.

things changed when we signed him up for t-ball though. my boy would get out on the field and put on his serious game face. he hit the ball and ran the bases like a five-year-old pro. he got the first team ball and his coach felt that he was such a strong player that he should play the next year.

but t-ball was too slow of a sport for dutch, you know, with all that standing around in the outfield. he needed action! so onto basketball it was. first we signed him up for a basketball primer to learn the basics and then it was time to play for a team. let me tell you something, my child may not have been the star player, but as the youngest kid on the team he proved he had heart. when other kids would fall or get frustrated and cry, dutch kept his game face on throughout the entire game. he never let them see him sweat. we were so proud every time he even got his hands on the ball. making the shot was the icing on the cake.

and now it’s football season. he’s had his heart set on playing for the past two years after seeing his older cousin play. i wasn’t too happy about his excitement to play to be completely honest because i didn’t want to see my baby get hurt. and to be really, really, really honest i quietly hoped that his enthusiasm would wane. but nope! all he talked about (literally) day and night before camp was football.

he’s already completed two weeks of football camp where for 2 hours a day, five days he week he exercised and learned a bit about the game and now it’s preseason. for about a month, 2 hours a day, five days a week more we hit the hot football field and sweat like…well, people sitting in the direct sun on a hot field.

but dutch has been beyond stoked! he’s rockin’ his full football gear now, adjusting to the tightness of the helmet, buckling his own shoulder pads, double knotting his own cleats. thankfully he’s finally over the newness of his cup and is no longer asking if he can wear it around the house so that when our dog charlie jumps on his lap it won’t hurt because, well, that would just be weird.

out on the field and in his uniform he’s looking like a pro. well, a mini one anyway. tackling (a bit reluctantly ’cause it’s still new to him) his buddies and not complaining a bit about running laps with all that heavy equipment on in the summer heat.

i’m impressed by his tenacity. his willingness to keep playing even after complaining one evening that i should’ve signed him for flag football instead. when i told him he couldn’t give up, he said, “okay, but i’m just playing this year and then never again.” i’m sure he’ll change his mind though. after basketball ended he said he retired, but yet he’s eager to play in the upcoming season.

i have a feeling we’re going to be on a court, field or track for many years to come with this one.

nakedy laps

what does it mean when your 2-year-old son wants to be butt nakedy as soon as he comes home in the evening?

how about when he decides to do a lap around the kitchen and living room in the buff? like 23 times. even after you’ve told him that he’ll probably hurt his woohoo if he falls because “you know, that’s why God made diapers, dutch…to protect your woohoo from falls.”

what about when he doesn’t listen?

what about when he falls right there in the kitchen, just like you told him he would, and decides to make a little puddle and then looks up at you and says, “uhhhohhhhhhhhhh!!”??

the smoosher

you know how some people like to pop bubble wrap to either be loud and annoying or to simply just release stress?

and you know how some people like to eat ice when they’re frustrated and tense?

and you know how some people just get so worked up that they just decide to scream?

well, over the past month or so i’ve come across quite a bit of stress in my little life and i have an entirely new way to release it. it’s a way that i’m sure no one else has even thought about.

nope, it’s not sitting at home pulling strands of my hair out and it doesn’t involve me eating my blues away, adding more damage to my credit debt, or consuming copious amounts of alcohol.

nope. nah-uh…

i have been smooshing and demolishing every last acorn that gets in my path!! that’s right. i said it. big ones, little ones. ones with tops and ones without tops. ones in bunches and ones standing alone. and i’ve realized that wearing boots with a bit of a heel makes it all the mo’ betta.

down with acorn!!

i’m taking it out on them because they were too stupid to stay on the tree branch. silly little acorn! plus, since they’re not living i don’t feel too bad about it.

smoosh!!

crunch!!

pop!!

each time one goes down and is smooshed to smithereens i feel a tad bit better.

a tad bit.

hey, at least i’m not getting involved in road rage, right? how do you release stress?

i’m so gucci

i was chasing dutch around this morning in my attempt to get us ready and out of the house at a decent time. it’s so not easy now that he’s an active 2-year-old. but i managed to get him still for oh probably about 32.7 seconds. just long enough to wipe him down with a soapy washcloth and then he somehow got free again.

he was running all around the house butty-naked when i was finally able to snatch him up and bring him to the bedroom to get him dressed.

dutch was giggling the whole time (because for some reason this whole running from mommy in the mornings thing is quite funny to him) and i said, “dutch, you are so goofy!!”

his response: “you gucci, mama!!”

ya just gotta love this kid…

oh, the joys of potty training!!

i bought dutch a potty some time ago. i knew he wasn’t ready but i guess some part of me was just hoping that my little genius which catch on quickly and be out of diapers in no time.

to my surprise the first time i sat him on the potty he made a pee-pee!! i sat him down and the tinkle music played on the potty and i was dancing. oh, i was so excited like “i knew it! i knew he’d catch on quickly!” i was just counting all the dollars i would save in diapers and was making plans to go to dsw to buy a new pair of shoes with his former diaper money and everything. but it turns out that it was just the luck of the wheel. it must’ve just happened to have been coming down the pipe at that very moment because it’s the first and last pee-pee he’s made on the potty.

a big mistake that i made was buying a potty that actually functions as a step-stool. i don’t know who came up with this idea, but my guess is that its intended use is for children to later be able to step up to the toilet or even to the sink so that they can brush their teeth or wash their hands. dutch uses it in the living room to try to feed his four goldfish. he also uses it in the kitchen to push buttons on the microwave.

oh, and that tinkle music i mentioned earlier. he figured out a way to get that to play without making a pee-pee. he takes the cup from the potty and pours water in it from the bathroom sink. where’s the motivation??

i’ve made the mistake of asking him if he needs to use the potty on numerous occasions. after he’s eaten or had a drink i’ll ask, “dutchie, wanna go potty?” “no!” of course he says no. he says no to everything. so i’ve tried sitting him on the potty and that lasts oh for about 0.5 seconds before he’s running off to the next thing.

it’s not all going totally awry. i believe we’re making small strides. he now, at least tells me sometimes when there’s an occurrence in his diaper. “mama, i poop!” but “poop” can mean so many things to my little man. either it’s pee-pee, poop or a poot. anything three, pick one.

sometimes it actually is poop like last saturday morning. “mama, i poop!” i changed his diaper and then 15 minutes later… “mama, i poop!” so i said, “dutchie, you pooped again?” “i pooped again.” now every time that he poops it’s “mama, i pooped again.” and again and again and again. it’s just one long poopy string that i’ve started by asking “again?” a never ending poop cycle.

be quiet!!

that’s what i hear the most from my not quite 2-year-old son lately. and just how do you respond to a toddler who doesn’t seem to like the sound of your voice?

haven’t quite figured that out yet.

it all started out as a nice shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… we’d be in the car and i’d be singing the “abc song” and then all of a sudden i’d hear, “shhhhhhhhhhhh mommy” coming from the back seat. talk about a blow to your ego. i mean, i know i don’t have the vocal capabilities of beyonce, but geesh, it’s the freakin’ “song”!!! give me a break.

then his shhhhhhhhhhhhh… graduated to shut up. i think he overheard me and his daddy exchange those two words a few too many times and decided to add it to his repertoire. the funny thing is that my husband thought he was saying wassup since “shut up” sounded more like “shup”. but he’s gone from “shup” to straight up “shut up” now so there’s no confusion.

next came “close your mouth” (along with pinching lips together) and once i started telling him to “zip it” with the hand motions and all, of course nothing became too complicated for him. my son now has at least a hundred ways to tell us to shut up and i think i may be to blame for it. as soon as he catches on i switch. now he has a vast array of “shut up” words complete with hand signals.

i think he just really digs the power he thinks it gives him. half the time when he’s telling us to be quiet or shut up or shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… we’re not even saying anything anyway so i’m assuming that in his mind he’s thinking, “yeah, i told them and now look… they’re not saying nothin’! yesssssss!! i’m the man!!”