Tag Archives: funny conversations

i wanna mush him

you know, sometimes i just wanna mush my 2 and a half year old son dutchie all upside his forehead (and sometimes i do!!).

the other morning i was rushing (as usual) and just trying to get out of the house at least sorta on time. dutch grabbed his shoes so i told him he should try putting them on himself.

mama: dutch, go ahead and try to get one shoe on by yourself.

dutch: [struggles with his shoe and is nowhere even near having the thing on right. and he’s also showing early signs of heavy frustration.]

mama: go ahead, buddy, you can do it. just try!

dutch: [totally frustrated by now.] i can’t do it!!

mama: yes, you can, dutchie. just try.

dutch: i can’t do it!!!!!

mama: dutch, don’t say that you can’t. just try!

dutch: i said i can’t do it, little girl!!!!

round 2 of wanting to mush the child all upside his forehead…

another morning i told dutch it was time to get dressed so that we could make our way to eva’s (his daycare).

mama: come on, dutch. it’s time to get dressed so let’s move it! come on, chop, chop!!!

dutch: i don’t want to. i wanna watch go diego.

mama: well, you’ll have to watch it when you get home because it’s time to get dressed so that we can go to eva’s.

dutch: no, i don’t want to go to eva’s.

mama: okay, well, fine. i’m going to go to eva’s by myself. see you later!!

dutch: bye, mama!! [still sitting on the bed watching television.]

so at this point i figured, i’ll fix him. i’ll leave out the front door and once he realizes that i’m gone and he’s home alone he’ll freak out!! as if i even had time to play these kinds of games in the mornings, but i did. our door closes really loudly so i made sure that the slam was ultra loud so he would know that i indeed had left. so i stood outside of the door waiting to hear the rumbling thunder sound of his feet coming towards the door.

no dice.

so then i thought, well, maybe he’s just standing there quietly at the door, you know, trying to feel me out. so i opened the door and there was no sign of dutch. and why? well, because his little butt was still content watching go diego go on the bed.

i just know that he would’ve missed me though, you know, like 15 minutes later when it was time to refill his milk cup.

round 3 of wanting to mush the child all upside his forehead…

today. i was planning on taking the day off just because daggone it, i need a day off! you know, to think, to breathe, to nap as long as i want and to watch “maury povich” and “oprah”. but my plans sorta changed once i noticed that dutch was coughing and wheezing and just overall not sounding 100%. what can i say, it’s the season for wheezin’ so that means it’s also time for allergy pill poppin’ and albuterol breathing treatments.

oh, spring is definitely upon us.

so this morning daddy noticed that dutch wasn’t feeling all that great:

daddy: you tell ms. eva if you don’t feel well and she’ll call me and i’ll come and get you, okay?

dutch: okay.

daddy: you don’t feel good?

dutch: [dutch shakes his head no as if he really knows what “feeling good” means. i dunno, maybe he does know what it means, but i’m kinda going with he doesn’t.]

daddy: do you wanna go to ms. eva’s?

dutch: no, i don’t wanna go to ms. eva’s.

well, see this is the kicker. daddy leaves before us in the morning so he really doesn’t know that every morning dutch says he doesn’t want to go to ms. eva’s because he would prefer to stay home and watch his vast movie collection. i mean, sure dutch was coughing this morning (and still is), but it’s not sooooooooo bad that he couldn’t really go to daycare. especially since this isn’t a cold so it’s nothing contagious. and sure enough after daddy leaves dutch says this:

dutch: mommy, can we go to chuck e. cheese’s?? to eat pizza?? and to dance??

geez louise, the kid’s a faker already.

funny things dutch says

conversing with my 2-year-old (26 months if you wanna be real anal about it) son dutch is so much fun these days. half of the time i don’t have a clue what he’s saying because he tends to make up words as fillers to describe what he’s talking about when he doesn’t know the real words. then other times it’s so clear and crisp and dead-on.

and can i just say that my child is the bossiest little 2-year-old dictator EVER? i don’t know where he gets this stuff from. he has the craziest facial expressions to go along with all of his bossiness too.

anyway, here’s mr. “boss of nothing” (as i like to call him):

mama to daddy: [daddy had said something really silly.] hahaha… shut up, you are so silly!!

dutch: mama, don’t say ‘shut-up, daddy.’

mama: you’re so right! i’m sorry, daddy, for saying shut up.

daddy: that’s right, man, you tell her!

dutch to daddy: [with the best crooked grin ever.] shut up, daddy.

mama: dutch, you just told me not to say shut up and now you’re saying it to daddy. tell daddy you’re sorry.

dutch to mama: shut up, mama.

***

mama: i’m happy, dutch, are you happy?

dutch: no, i don’t want it.

***

dutch: mama, come here!

mama: what, dutch?

dutch: don’t say ‘what, dutch?’ say ‘yes, dutch.’

lesson here: you know, when you teach a kid something it’s important that you also follow through on your own rules ’cause you know, it kinda sucks to be corrected by a 2-year-old.

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