Tag Archives: husband

my husband and the accidental drop

a very interesting thing happened yesterday evening during dutch‘s football practice. i was gathering my things to leave, you know, folding my little chair (’cause it’s a must have if your child is in sports), telling my husband i’d see him when they got home because we drove separately, dug around in my purse for my keys, pulled them out and then…

i looked to find my husband scrambling on the ground and mumbling rather low, “oh God!!!!!” for a split second i wasn’t sure what was going on. was he trying to save me from a rabid skunk that was attempting to tear at my ankles and spray me with stankiness? did one of those massive dragonflies that seem to love swarming a little too close for my liking finally break into my personal space box? just what exactly was going on?

and then i noticed that he picked something up quickly from the ground and stuffed it rather aggressively into my purse.

it was this…

yep, a harmless ol’ pad aka sanitary napkin aka the thing that all men fear. well, most anyway.

i said to him, “geesh, it’s not like it’s used!!” okay, that was gross. but that’s what i said and he responded, “so?!?! nobody wants to see that!”

wait, was that embarrassment that i saw flash across his face? could it be that he was worried that the dad sitting next to me who we had become chummy with had actually witnessed the accidental drop of the pad?!

you would’ve thought that i mooned the entire ankle biter football league and their mamas.

get outta here! it’s a pad! i guarantee you that he would’ve never reacted that way to me dropping say…a diaper!

so what exactly is it with men that makes them totally cringe at unused pads and tampons? is it that they’re imagining them already soiled? i don’t get it, it’s just paper and plastic. i think.

okay, forget its contents. i have no clue what those things are made of, but you get where i’m going with this, right? pad and tampons are absolutely harmless, but men would rather forget their very existence. in fact, most men would prefer to never have to purchase them and i’m sure they look away quickly as if they’d turn to stone upon spotting one in the bathroom.

it’s kinda funny when you think about it. men. they love their shoot ’em up action and horror films. they watch boxers beat each other to a pulp. gut fish and stand over a vat hot grease to deep fry them. some shoot ducks and other harmless little animals. a large majority will roll around in funky mud during an outdoor game of paintball fighting or football. they get tatted up and branded all over their bodies…but pads? they’re the real kryptonite.

{3} is your communication on point?

if you’ve been following me here at all, you know i started a little “things you should know before jumpin’ the broom” series and well, finally, here’s #3.

so you’ve heard it a million times: communication is key in a relationship, and in a marriage, communication is paramount. if you don’t have it now, trust me, your relationship will suffer a slow, pitiful death. or maybe even a quick death depending on just how bad the non-communication is.

unless you and your man learn now how to communicate effectively through counseling or some type of osmosis you’re going to have big time marital problems in the future.

there are lots of talks to be had in a marriage like managing bills, how to discipline the children, when to purchase a new car, what insurance to go with, where to live… you get my drift. but there’s the small stuff too like, which way the toilet paper should hang and who’s going to walk the dog. if you’re fussing and fighting over the little things now, just imagine how difficult it will be to discuss the things that really matter.

how you communicate, just another thing to think about before jumping the broom!

the reckless driver?

going 20 miles over the speed limit in the state of virginia can land your butt in jail.

did you know that?

yes indeedy. say you’re going 75 on 495 (aka the beltway) and the speed limit is 55, you face a class one misdemeanor criminal charge which is punishable by up to 12 months in jail, up to a $2,500 fine and a suspended driver’s license for up to 6 months.

oh, they are not playing in v.a.

which brings me to yesterday’s drama. my husband edell was caught speeding on his way to work back in march. when he first told me i thought, no big deal. right? wouldn’t most people think that? i figured we’d pay a ticket and be on our merry little way.

oh, silly, naive me.

edell has been back and forth to court quite a few times over the past several months trying to resolve this whole reckless speeding issue. one judge wanted him to spend 10 days in jail. for speeding, people. 10 days in jail.

there was no accident, he wasn’t racing anyone, no one was maimed or killed. he was just speeding.

okay, so i know that people are injured every day in car accidents from people driving above the speed limit. but who the heck doesn’t speed? if you’ve ever driven on the beltway in the dc metropolitan area then you know that you have to speed or else you will get crumpled on the road.

so yesterday we (my husband, my pop and stepmother, my mother-in-law, and my brother-in-law) sat in court waiting for my husband’s case to be called. for speeding. oh yeah, we roll pretty deep, by the way. and we listened to other cases go up:

the first lady was in court because she worked in a doctor’s office and was stealing the identities of the patients. this chick went out and got a nordstrom’s credit card in some woman’s name and was caught. the accused was from another country so now she faces jail time and the possibility of being deported.

and we’re here for speeding?

then there was the first ignoramus who ran into target and stole a dyson vacuum cleaner (you know, the one that doesn’t lose suction?). the bama ran out of the store with the thing!! did he really think he could get away with running out of target with a vacuum cleaner? apparently so. and now he faces a felony charge because the vacuum was valued at over $200.

and we’re here for speeding?

Continue reading the reckless driver?