Tag Archives: parenting

on failing challenges and passion

so how do you muck up a blogging challenge that calls for you to blog every day for a month? you don’t blog every day for a month. instead you post every 3 to 5 days because you’re a rebel who doesn’t like rules.

actually that last part isn’t totally true. i just got caught up and didn’t post. but hey, onward and forward with today’s post: dutch and wrestling and mama being bugged about wrestling by dutch night and day and day and night.

mama's got moxie

my dear loving child discovered the wwe several months ago and it’s been all about wrestling ever since. he has wrestling video games, watches matches on cable and pulls up old wwe/wwf matches up on youtube via his ipad.

he’s serious.

my child is very interactive with his newfound love too. he not only watches continuous streams of wrestling video, he mimics the moves on a large stuffed bunny that used to be mine. he jumps off the couch (all while i’m screaming in the background for him not to jump off the couch) and does all of the finisher moves he’s seen done by his favorite wrestlers. he has even written out his “special moves” that he has asked me to forward to the wwe. the “neck breaker” moves terrifies me, by the way.

mama's got moxie

as crazy as all his wrestling talk drives me at times (he has asked me several times a day for the past few weeks to sign him up for wrestling in our neighborhood) there is something to be said about his passion for this sport. if you wanna call what the wwe does a sport. to me, it’s more like an entertainment show, but whatever.

his passion is thick. he eats, sleeps, dreams, walks, talks wrestling. i get it though. i’ve been passionate about many, many things in my life. passionate about my family, passionate about my work, passionate about my creativity and artsy-craftiness. so all i can really do is smile through all his wrestling talk and be happy that at this young age he’s found something that he truly adores.

 

he wants me to procreate

it’s august?! already?? geesh, the time is whizzing on by. new month = new thangs. first thang up, to get my butt back on track with this blog. i follow awesomely luvvie on instagram and she issued a challenge to bloggy types to post every day for the month of august. perfect! i likes a challenge. so here goes.

dutch has always come up with suggestions for me: “mom, you should cut your hair,” “mom, you should buy hot buns,” “mom, you need to exercise,” “mom, you should get a job at my school library,” “look mom, the gas station is hiring, don’t you need a job?”

his life coaching lessons are endless, but his latest suggestion just took the whole entire cake of cakes.

mama's got moxie

just the other day we were riding home from a little trip to baskin robbins because i needed a scoop of jamoca almond fudge to brighten my day and here’s how our conversation went…

dutch: mom, do you know what procreate means?

mama: (cringing more than a little bit…) yes.

oh…here we go. the “where do babies come from” talk. i was panicking on the inside because i’m just not ready for the procreation convo with my almost 8-year-old child, especially when my husband isn’t present.

dutch: good. can you please go procreate because i really want to have a little brother or sister.

good?!? did this child just say “good”?? like we’re on the same page of understanding? as if he already knows and is just checking to make sure i know? and who on earth says, “go procreate??” who is this child? where did he come from? like, really, where they do that at? oh, but he’s not done yet.

dutch: there was a woman in the Bible who prayed about procreating and she had a baby so can you do that?

wait. what? he wants me to pray on it?

mama: huh? who told you that?

dutch: i learned it in sunday school.

i pulled the car into a parking space and we got out to head into our home. i was walking ahead of dutch, but he stopped for a sec on the sidewalk and said…

“mom, you deserve to procreate.”

would my son be my hero?

dutch is 7. at 7 you don’t have very many responsibilities. you clean up after yourself. keep your room clean. do well in school. behave. you know, it just doesn’t get very deep at 7. you basically go to school and look forward to the weekend so you can chill out, watch cartoons, play around. life is easy breezy.

in dutch’s case, the weekend includes video game time. he lives for his video game time and he has quite a collection of games. naturally, there are some games (his dad’s) that are a definite no-no. that includes anything rated “m” for mature. he’s not even allowed to be in the same room when his dad plays these games.

we’re serious.

my child

so last weekend we were hanging around the house. i was watching tv, dutch was playing his games, and i hadn’t fixed anything for lunch just yet so i decided to just order chinese. by the time the food came i was out of my mind hungry and couldn’t wait to dig in. i said to dutch, “i’m going to pass out in here if i don’t eat soon!” which got me to thinking, would my child know what to do if i ever had a medical emergency and really passed out?

so i asked, “dutch, what would you do if i passed out?”

dutch: play call of duty: black ops.

mama: what?!

dutch: and then i’d call an ambulance.

so much for a hero.

here i stand: the worst mama on the planet

*sigh*

life is way beyond stressful right now. there’s constant job hunting and general frustration over that, my dear husband has (understandably) added home searching into the mix, opportunities have come up that need to be weighed…heavily. i have a million ideas of what i could be doing, but i’m in such a frazzled state that i can think of two million reasons why they won’t work.

bills keep coming in as sure as the sun rises, ankle biter football has become more of a stress point in my life than i would’ve ever imagined. who knew? maybe i’ll post on that later. and of course the regular ol’ day-to-day stuff that keeps my mind spinning.

constantly.

so last thursday i treated the day like any other school day. got dutch up and ironed his clothes, made his lunch. walked the dog. dropped dutch off at school. you know, the regular routine stuff. it was only when i picked him up that i noticed the big, flashing notice on that electronic sign that sits in front of the school building that said:

DON’T FORGET, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2012 IS PICTURE DAY!

wait. i thought to myself. is today wednesday or thursday? surely i did NOT forget freakin’ picture day!

i mean, really? who does that?

me obviously.

not only did i forget to make sure that my child looked extra snazzy that day for his second grade picture, but daggone it, the picture order form was right there on my dining table. blank. no enclosed check or nothing.

things like this usually get dutch all upset and bothered. he’s usually all, “mooooom!! you forgot?! how did you forget??” i mean, it’s not often that i forget the important stuff, but when i do (like the time i left his lunch on the counter and sent him off to school without it and he ended up having a bag of popcorn for lunch. *sigh*) he’s pretty good at giving me all kinds of guilt trips. and i take it ’cause he’s right.

so i walked over to him on the playground all worried that he’d be disappointed and started apologizing immediately. do they even let kids take a picture if they’re not paying for them? will his picture even be in the yearbook that dutch so looks forward to getting every year? i wasn’t sure. but dutch said that he did at least take the picture. whew! it wasn’t like he had to sit in the classroom alone while all of his classmates lined up with their shiny picture-taking outfits, waving good-bye to him like he was the broke kid whose parents couldn’t at least afford the $20 picture packet.

thank goodness.

and it’s not like picture day is a one shot deal either. even if they don’t have a make-up day, they do have personality picture day closer to the end of the school year so all is not lost.

but still.

how did i let this slip by? dutch, surprisingly, didn’t make much of a fuss about it although i’m sure he will once the pictures come in and he doesn’t have any. and i’m sure this sounds like not such a big deal to a lot of folks, but i typically pride myself on being on top of these sorta things.

it’s not that we NEED another picture. in fact, dutch just had football pictures taken recently and i’m constantly snappin’ new pics of dutch. it’s just the principle of it all. like, how in the world could i have forgotten about picture day? my mother would’ve never.

i think parents often feel pangs of guilt over stuff they shoulda woulda coulda done and this was definitely one of those moments for me. i know if i wasn’t feeling so stressed all the daggone time i would’ve remembered. forgetting picture day was a huge reminder that i need to slow down a bit. pay closer attention to things that matter. shut out some of the clutter and buzz-y crap that’s swimming around in my mind.

do better.

he thinks he knows so much

monday morning was yet another day of debates…about clothes. it always trips me out that such a young kid has so many opinions about what to wear to school. we finally got the outfit down, but then it was time to grab a jacket. dutch goes into his closet and grabs a long-sleeved, hooded t-shirt with a pocket in the front. here’s how our conversation unfolded:

mama: dutch, that is not a jacket. it’s a shirt.

dutch: it’s not a shirt, it’s a jacket.

mama: dutch, it’s not a jacket, it’s a t-shirt. see, come feel the weight of this verses your real jacket.

dutch: [touches the shirt again and still isn’t convinced.] mom, it’s a jacket.

and the conversation seriously went on and on like this, even after he grabbed a real jacket and we headed out to the car. we literally went back and forth like this 10,000 times. it’s a jacket! it’s a shirt!!

my mama thinks i’m crazy for debating such trivial things with a 7-year-old, but it just drives me nuts that this kid thinks he knows more than me. so i told him…

mama: you know, it drives me nuts that you think you know more than me. i mean, really, you think you know everything! drives. me. nuts.

[mama turns the radio up ’cause she wants to think of something else besides long-sleeved, t-shirts and jackets, and know-it-all little 7-year-old boys.]

[dutch pauses in thought.]

dutch: i know what metacognition means and you don’t.

metacognition

[mama, turns down the radio ’cause she didn’t quite hear the entire word dutch said, but she assumes she knows and says…]

mama: the word is recognition.

dutch: no, it’s metacognition.

[mama thinks, meta-what?!?!]

mama: well, what does metacognition mean, dutch? [you know, since you’re so freakin’ smart, little kid!!]

dutch: it means, thinking about thinking.

mama: well, i’m thinking about thinking about bopping you upside yo’ head, how about that? [’cause dangit, mama couldn’t think of nothin’ else to say!]

i should’ve told him that since he’s so smart to use metacognition in a sentence, or better yet, spell it. and i probably would’ve said both those things if i wasn’t thinking so hard about googling this “metacognition” word.

and i did.

and he was right.

earth, wind & fire :: september

dutch just discovered earth, wind & fire a few months ago and there for a minute he was requesting to hear them every day. one of his absolute favorites is “september”! one day recently after summer camp he told me a teacher caught him singing an ewf song and shocked that my kid was a little bit of an old school head, he asked, “dutch, are you singing earth, wind & fire??” haha!

i love it.

this one is for you, dutchie!

ba de ya, say do you remember/ba de ya, dancing in september/ba de ya, never was a cloudy day…

happy 7th birthday, dutchie!

i was a writer before this blog. i know, i know…you can barely tell from all of my typos, grammatical errors, run-on sentences and my obsession with ellipsis. but anyway, after leaving my editorial gig several years ago i was struggling to find my creative self. i mean, majorly struggling! i was a new wife, a new mama, not writing professionally anymore. it was like a tornado had come in and swept through my life and switched things up. only it was a sweet tornado, you know, like a funnel of skittles and cotton candy and strawberry sauce. but still, nothing looked the same anymore.

then i discovered blogging and what do you know, my dutchie had given me a reason to write again. i never intended to be a “mom blogger,” and still don’t describe myself that way. i’ve always just been a writer whose beat, if you will, happened to be her own child. and, of course, any other thing that strikes my fancy.

and why not write about dutch? this boy is crazy funny and witty and super smart and curious and picky beyond belief. he’s honest (too honest, almost – he got that from his dad) and stubborn (all me right there!) and so daggone determined. he’s his own person with his own definitive tastes and likes and dislikes and cannot be swayed. he’s much like his brother in that way and i love that about the both of them.

dutch can be so caring and ultra loving and sweeter than cherry pie in one minute and then drive me completely insane with his strong-willed spirit of steel in the next. this child is the exact opposite of what i imagined he’d be (and i’m sure my husband will agree! haha…), yet his personality has been the most beautiful surprise ever.

i wouldn’t dare try to pin down what i think he’ll be when he grows up, but i’m sure whatever it is he’s gonna be great at it.

happy 7th birthday, dutchie!! i’m sure you’ve got plenty more ways up your sleeve to surprise us.

 

 

my labor day gift

labor day will always hold a special little spot in my heart since my dutchie was born on that day. i’d never tell him that i secretly celebrate his birthday twice a year (his actual birthday is september 5th) because then he’d expect two gifts, two parties, two cakes…you get where i’m going with this, right?

so today i’ll just sit back quietly and think on the day my sweet baby boy was born. *whispering* happy birthday, dutchie!! 🙂

the snake that keeps growing & growing

dutch and i were in rite aid when he picked up a toy snake and asked if he could have it. at first i told him no, but when i realized it was 50% off and only two bucks i went on ahead and told him okay.

when we got in the car dutch said that we needed to put the thing in water. huh?? why does a toy snake need water?

i probably should’ve paid more attention to the packaging when dutch tossed it up on the counter so i could pay for it. you know, the part of the packaging RIGHT THERE ON THE FRONT with the kid holding a gigantic snake up and the part that said when you put the snake in water for five days it grows to over four feet long!

smh.

silly mama.

toy snake that grows

 

he’s so sporty

dutch is not quite seven years old yet, his birthday is next month, but he’s had an active little sports life so far.

first we had him take a swim lesson when he was about three. it was a mommy & me kinda class and every week we’d get in the pool and play games and try to execute the little lessons the instructor planned. but ultimately, dutch failed swim class. the teacher was all apologetic and whatnot, but geesh, can you really fail a three-year-old in swim class? well, i guess you can if the end result means your child could drown all because you thought he deserved a swim certificate when really he just flopped around in the pool during each class and barely wanted to put his face in the water.

so anyway, then we moved onto to tennis…and soccer. pretty much at the same time. don’t ask me why. child, i was just so eager to have dutch in something ’cause isn’t that what parents do these days? put their kids in stuff?

in tennis dutch wasn’t the most focused kid on the court and at one point the coach said, “you just want to do your own thing, do you think this is dutch.com?” which i’m sure totally confused my child since he didn’t know what the heck a .com was at the time.

then onto soccer where at least dutch got to get his forrest gump on and run like a nut, only a couple times he didn’t quite know when to stop. probably because it was british soccer and the coaches’ accents totally threw his little three-year-old brain for a loop. he hardly understood what they asking him to do half the time.

silly mommy.

things changed when we signed him up for t-ball though. my boy would get out on the field and put on his serious game face. he hit the ball and ran the bases like a five-year-old pro. he got the first team ball and his coach felt that he was such a strong player that he should play the next year.

but t-ball was too slow of a sport for dutch, you know, with all that standing around in the outfield. he needed action! so onto basketball it was. first we signed him up for a basketball primer to learn the basics and then it was time to play for a team. let me tell you something, my child may not have been the star player, but as the youngest kid on the team he proved he had heart. when other kids would fall or get frustrated and cry, dutch kept his game face on throughout the entire game. he never let them see him sweat. we were so proud every time he even got his hands on the ball. making the shot was the icing on the cake.

and now it’s football season. he’s had his heart set on playing for the past two years after seeing his older cousin play. i wasn’t too happy about his excitement to play to be completely honest because i didn’t want to see my baby get hurt. and to be really, really, really honest i quietly hoped that his enthusiasm would wane. but nope! all he talked about (literally) day and night before camp was football.

he’s already completed two weeks of football camp where for 2 hours a day, five days he week he exercised and learned a bit about the game and now it’s preseason. for about a month, 2 hours a day, five days a week more we hit the hot football field and sweat like…well, people sitting in the direct sun on a hot field.

but dutch has been beyond stoked! he’s rockin’ his full football gear now, adjusting to the tightness of the helmet, buckling his own shoulder pads, double knotting his own cleats. thankfully he’s finally over the newness of his cup and is no longer asking if he can wear it around the house so that when our dog charlie jumps on his lap it won’t hurt because, well, that would just be weird.

out on the field and in his uniform he’s looking like a pro. well, a mini one anyway. tackling (a bit reluctantly ’cause it’s still new to him) his buddies and not complaining a bit about running laps with all that heavy equipment on in the summer heat.

i’m impressed by his tenacity. his willingness to keep playing even after complaining one evening that i should’ve signed him for flag football instead. when i told him he couldn’t give up, he said, “okay, but i’m just playing this year and then never again.” i’m sure he’ll change his mind though. after basketball ended he said he retired, but yet he’s eager to play in the upcoming season.

i have a feeling we’re going to be on a court, field or track for many years to come with this one.