Tag Archives: toddler

i wanna mush him

you know, sometimes i just wanna mush my 2 and a half year old son dutchie all upside his forehead (and sometimes i do!!).

the other morning i was rushing (as usual) and just trying to get out of the house at least sorta on time. dutch grabbed his shoes so i told him he should try putting them on himself.

mama: dutch, go ahead and try to get one shoe on by yourself.

dutch: [struggles with his shoe and is nowhere even near having the thing on right. and he’s also showing early signs of heavy frustration.]

mama: go ahead, buddy, you can do it. just try!

dutch: [totally frustrated by now.] i can’t do it!!

mama: yes, you can, dutchie. just try.

dutch: i can’t do it!!!!!

mama: dutch, don’t say that you can’t. just try!

dutch: i said i can’t do it, little girl!!!!

round 2 of wanting to mush the child all upside his forehead…

another morning i told dutch it was time to get dressed so that we could make our way to eva’s (his daycare).

mama: come on, dutch. it’s time to get dressed so let’s move it! come on, chop, chop!!!

dutch: i don’t want to. i wanna watch go diego.

mama: well, you’ll have to watch it when you get home because it’s time to get dressed so that we can go to eva’s.

dutch: no, i don’t want to go to eva’s.

mama: okay, well, fine. i’m going to go to eva’s by myself. see you later!!

dutch: bye, mama!! [still sitting on the bed watching television.]

so at this point i figured, i’ll fix him. i’ll leave out the front door and once he realizes that i’m gone and he’s home alone he’ll freak out!! as if i even had time to play these kinds of games in the mornings, but i did. our door closes really loudly so i made sure that the slam was ultra loud so he would know that i indeed had left. so i stood outside of the door waiting to hear the rumbling thunder sound of his feet coming towards the door.

no dice.

so then i thought, well, maybe he’s just standing there quietly at the door, you know, trying to feel me out. so i opened the door and there was no sign of dutch. and why? well, because his little butt was still content watching go diego go on the bed.

i just know that he would’ve missed me though, you know, like 15 minutes later when it was time to refill his milk cup.

round 3 of wanting to mush the child all upside his forehead…

today. i was planning on taking the day off just because daggone it, i need a day off! you know, to think, to breathe, to nap as long as i want and to watch “maury povich” and “oprah”. but my plans sorta changed once i noticed that dutch was coughing and wheezing and just overall not sounding 100%. what can i say, it’s the season for wheezin’ so that means it’s also time for allergy pill poppin’ and albuterol breathing treatments.

oh, spring is definitely upon us.

so this morning daddy noticed that dutch wasn’t feeling all that great:

daddy: you tell ms. eva if you don’t feel well and she’ll call me and i’ll come and get you, okay?

dutch: okay.

daddy: you don’t feel good?

dutch: [dutch shakes his head no as if he really knows what “feeling good” means. i dunno, maybe he does know what it means, but i’m kinda going with he doesn’t.]

daddy: do you wanna go to ms. eva’s?

dutch: no, i don’t wanna go to ms. eva’s.

well, see this is the kicker. daddy leaves before us in the morning so he really doesn’t know that every morning dutch says he doesn’t want to go to ms. eva’s because he would prefer to stay home and watch his vast movie collection. i mean, sure dutch was coughing this morning (and still is), but it’s not sooooooooo bad that he couldn’t really go to daycare. especially since this isn’t a cold so it’s nothing contagious. and sure enough after daddy leaves dutch says this:

dutch: mommy, can we go to chuck e. cheese’s?? to eat pizza?? and to dance??

geez louise, the kid’s a faker already.

the nephew

last weekend my sis-in-law went out of town to celebrate her big 23rd birthday and instead of living la vida loca and joining the party train, we were penciled in to babysit our nephew kody. i think this whole plan was my husband’s suggestion and for some odd reason he really, really seemed excited about the whole thing.

i wasn’t feeling the same type of sunshiney anticipation.

it’s not that i don’t think the nephew is cute and all, he is. he really is, but i knew that there would be lots of drama in my household between the nephew and dutch. lots. for starters, dutch is so bossy and since kody is so much smaller than him, he makes good material for dutch. and my son is relentless. whenever those two are in a room together it never fails, dutch is fussing and fussing at him and poor kody is just trying to get in where he can fit in. dutch yells for him to go to time out and poor kody just keeps coming back for more. and dutch has been known to swing on kody a time or two too. i know, i know, but what can i say? dutch is working out some kind of toddler aggression on poor kody. with all this in mind, i braced myself for a wild weekend and expected the worse.

friday my husband reminded dutch that kody would be over that evening and dutch was way excited about kody’s impending visit. all he talked about on the way to daycare was kody, kody, kody… i started to feel like i was the sour puss of the bunch and raining on the “we’re having kody over for the weekend” parade, but by this point dutch was already hacking like an 84-year-old guy because of his cold and i just knew the mix of kody, dutch’s cold and having my stepson over for the weekend would make for a very interesting mix. for one, we’re not working with much space here, but that’s another story.

see, kody’s only a few months old. don’t ask how many months old ’cause i’m not sure, but he’s definitely not a year yet. and anyway, you know how the youngin’s get. they have all kinds of energy, they just go and go and go, and they rarely wanna stick to any kind of real schedule. and just like i thought that daggone kody drove me nuts as soon as he got to our place. he was just so freakin’ needy!! i mean, really, who knew he could be soooooo needy?! and every time i turned around he was right under my feet. i didn’t step on him (thank goodness!), but geez louise, he almost caused me trip over him more than once. and not only that, dutch would not leave him alone. he was in kody’s face the whole time (just like i knew he’d be), filling kody’s space with germy essences, and then to make matters worse kody would not go to sleep. at all.

i got up several times during the night to get medicine and juice for dutch and could not help but notice that kody was like some kind of energizer bunny on crack. it was like, c’mon!! give me a break!! go to sleep!! around 3 a.m. he was still hyper and acting like it was noon! it was then that edellizille said, “if i would’ve known it would be like this, i would’ve left his little butt at home and just came by to check on him.”

my thoughts exactly.

the next morning kody was still up, wanting to play. i thought, are you kidding me?? i don’t think he slept a wink at all and i just knew he had to be dead tired by now, but he sure wasn’t acting like it. my mother told me to just leave him alone in a quiet room and maybe then he’d just drift off to sleep. she said, “you’ve gotta make sure he gets some sleep because if not he’ll have a heart attack just from being so hyper.”

amazingly by sunday we had all fallen into a routine with kody. he was finally getting proper rest and dutch wasn’t fussing at him as much. what can i say? the kid was growing on me. i even had the wonderful idea of getting some pictures of him before my husband left to take him home. we tried several times to get him to sit in dutch’s small leather chair for a picture, but kody just wasn’t having that. then just when we had stopped paying attention, i noticed that he had gone over to the chair and got up in the seat all by himself.

ain’t he just the cutest little thing ever??



you just gotta love him!



i can’t wait till it’s my sis-in-law’s turn to babysit ’cause you know what they say…pay back’s a mutha!! haha!



funny things dutch says

conversing with my 2-year-old (26 months if you wanna be real anal about it) son dutch is so much fun these days. half of the time i don’t have a clue what he’s saying because he tends to make up words as fillers to describe what he’s talking about when he doesn’t know the real words. then other times it’s so clear and crisp and dead-on.

and can i just say that my child is the bossiest little 2-year-old dictator EVER? i don’t know where he gets this stuff from. he has the craziest facial expressions to go along with all of his bossiness too.

anyway, here’s mr. “boss of nothing” (as i like to call him):

mama to daddy: [daddy had said something really silly.] hahaha… shut up, you are so silly!!

dutch: mama, don’t say ‘shut-up, daddy.’

mama: you’re so right! i’m sorry, daddy, for saying shut up.

daddy: that’s right, man, you tell her!

dutch to daddy: [with the best crooked grin ever.] shut up, daddy.

mama: dutch, you just told me not to say shut up and now you’re saying it to daddy. tell daddy you’re sorry.

dutch to mama: shut up, mama.


mama: i’m happy, dutch, are you happy?

dutch: no, i don’t want it.


dutch: mama, come here!

mama: what, dutch?

dutch: don’t say ‘what, dutch?’ say ‘yes, dutch.’

lesson here: you know, when you teach a kid something it’s important that you also follow through on your own rules ’cause you know, it kinda sucks to be corrected by a 2-year-old.


Continue reading funny things dutch says

be quiet!!

that’s what i hear the most from my not quite 2-year-old son lately. and just how do you respond to a toddler who doesn’t seem to like the sound of your voice?

haven’t quite figured that out yet.

it all started out as a nice shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… we’d be in the car and i’d be singing the “abc song” and then all of a sudden i’d hear, “shhhhhhhhhhhh mommy” coming from the back seat. talk about a blow to your ego. i mean, i know i don’t have the vocal capabilities of beyonce, but geesh, it’s the freakin’ “song”!!! give me a break.

then his shhhhhhhhhhhhh… graduated to shut up. i think he overheard me and his daddy exchange those two words a few too many times and decided to add it to his repertoire. the funny thing is that my husband thought he was saying wassup since “shut up” sounded more like “shup”. but he’s gone from “shup” to straight up “shut up” now so there’s no confusion.

next came “close your mouth” (along with pinching lips together) and once i started telling him to “zip it” with the hand motions and all, of course nothing became too complicated for him. my son now has at least a hundred ways to tell us to shut up and i think i may be to blame for it. as soon as he catches on i switch. now he has a vast array of “shut up” words complete with hand signals.

i think he just really digs the power he thinks it gives him. half the time when he’s telling us to be quiet or shut up or shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… we’re not even saying anything anyway so i’m assuming that in his mind he’s thinking, “yeah, i told them and now look… they’re not saying nothin’! yesssssss!! i’m the man!!”